(He) said something yesterday that really struck a chord with me. The word pulled at my heart and I realized that rejected is the exact description of what I am feeling. It has been a few months now and I continue to struggle to penetrate the surface and build deeper relationships at church. Life in the north side has continued without us and maintaining relationships has been difficult. My family has declared that our neighborhood is unsafe and they will not come to our house because they think it is too dangerous. I have been lonely, and angry, and frustrated with God lately.
(He) gave me the OK to return to our old church on Sunday mornings. There is a part of me that wants to. My heart however can not forget the Lord’s call for us to be where we are. In all things, I believe that God is in complete control. When it’s time, I know this season will pass. And in the meantime I have decided to pursue my greatest friends; Jesus, and my husband. I started a journal today; I think that’s going to be the best way for me to see the path He is leading me on and to remember His goodness by. And as for (him), tonight is his last Monday at Carlos and we have committed to having date nights every Monday here on out.
I know that my struggle with the feeling of rejection is not over, but I also know that it is time for an attitude change. I can still choose joy, and patience and love, and today I am making that choice (yes honey, you can refer to this public declaration as needed… although it could be wiser not to… I’m just sayin).