Too cold to walk(her)

As is evident every few posts, sometimes I question our move to this side of town, I question my identity. I question my worth. The last couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion for me and I realized the other day that I was drifting from the One who loves me the most. Afraid of what He might ask me to do next I had been pushing His voice aside. But God will not go unheard. With or without my cooperation He will achieve His purpose. I don’t know what the future holds, but I will no longer fear it. Trust can be so difficult (is that just me?), but I know that He is the only one who loves me unconditionally. The only One who always wants what is best. The One who’s hand all that happens to me passes through. The One who knows me through and through. The One who sees all. The One who hears my silent tears. The Only one who gives true joy. The only One who gives life, eternal life. The One who came for His children and who died for them. The One whose name is above all names. The One who is mighty and just. The One who has gone before me and whose Word brings comfort and hope.

There was a terrible scream outside. Actually, at first I thought it was one of the kids up in the attic. Just as my heart started to pound the three of my boys came hurrying down the stairs to see if I knew where the screaming was coming from. It sounded like a child. I flung open the front door and darted onto the porch, my heart still beating at a strong and quickened pace. Out on the side walk I saw a little boy, about Brice’s age. My mind frantically searched for an answer and I thought maybe his sister was just kidnapped or something. I was outside now and ran toward him. Just as I approached him I saw a woman turn the corner. “Does he belong to you?” I asked, steadying my voice as best I could. Sure enough, he did. Two more kids appeared around the corner and I asked the woman if everything was OK. Her son (the one who was apparently screaming) kept saying that he did not want to walk anymore, and she explained that they had just walked from Glass Road (about a 30 minute walk without three children) and were about to walk all the way back. A “friend” borrowed her car and wasn’t returning it. Once I knew everything was OK, I went back inside the house. As I bolted the door…
God let me know that I was going to give them a ride home. So, back outside I went. I offered them a ride home and invited them in while I got my kidos ready to go (my husband was at class). I had just made hot cocoa for the boys and offered it to our new friends, two of the children drank some down. I got Darci out of her bed, we put our coats on and then we all loaded up in the van. During our drive the kids chattered happily in the back and I got to know the woman a bit. She is a divorced single mom who is going to school to be a nurse. She has a brother and parents who live out-of-state. I asked her if she went to a church anywhere. “No, do you?” she responded. And I told her about Imago. She said she would stop by my house sometime to get the church address and info, though I haven’t seen her yet.
After I dropped them off, I remembered that my gas guage was on “E” when I last parked the van. Glancing at the tiny line that rested well below the red, I thanked the Lord that we did not end up gasless on the side of the road. And although I am sure we should not have been able to drive that far, we made it to the gas station.

At the moment I needed it the most, God reminded me why I live in the “ghetto”. More importantly, He reminded me that my identity is in Him and it is because of Him that I live, and because of that, I want to live for Him. We have nothing in this life without Him, and all that we see will one day be no more. He has control over everything, even that darn van of mine that just won’t die (despite my desire for a new minivan). 🙂 Without all the extra room I would not have been able to drive four extra people out to Glass Road the other night. God knows what we need much better than we do, and when He asks us to do something, He will see us through it, He will provide a way, and He knows the outcome.

Published by Tiffanie Lloyd

I am a detail-oriented and energetic multi-tasker traveling at the side of my best friend, and momma to eight amazing kids. God has gifted me with creativity; I'm an entrepreneur, writer, and photographer with a passion for women's health, particularity in childbirth. I'm a Parenting and Childbirth Educator, Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, and working toward certification as a Holistic Nutritionist. Thanks for stoping by! Be sure to check out my archives, and sign up for notifications about new posts!

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