Dear Pumpkin Thief…(her)

At four dollars a pop I really took my time to pick out the perfect pumpkins. Had I know you were going to take them, I wouldn’t have wasted my time, especially since we only got to enjoy them for all of one day. It was a bit sad to wake up in the morning and find three of them missing. It is my strong suspicion that you live right next door. Surly you are that troublesome adolescent and probably used them for target practice or blew them up with one of your toilet bowl cleaner bombs. I suppose you might have been someone else. Maybe random passersby who saw them and thought “hey, free pumpkins.” In which case I hope you are enjoying them, you may not want to put them on your front steps though because they might get stolen. In case you are wondering, we bought more pumpkins yesterday. We carved them right away and put the four jack o lanterns on the porch railing. Surly you wouldn’t steal four colored and carved pumpkins; the kids were excited to see them still sitting there this morning. If you are in fact the kid next door, please enjoy the two pumpkins I gave you today. Though I did not say so, that gift was in hopes that our pumpkins would not again disappear.