Trusting you more(her)

She is so small. And life is so fragile. Last night so many thoughts rushed through my head.

I walked down the hall to find room 2 where (he) sat with our baby. Something about these places make me so anxious and it wasn’t long before the tears began again. (He) prayed for us both before he left and during the ride up to the NIC I felt a calm sweep over me. It could have been the sheer fact that it’s so much more relaxed and home-like up here, but I think that God was answering our prayers. My thoughts turned from “what if” to how much HE loves her. There is little I can do for her right now, but I know that God is in control.

I am watching her sleep. Her breathing is fairly steady right now. She looks so helpless in the middle of that huge cage with all those cords connected to her tiny little body. She recently had a breathing treatment, but they switched to something other than albuterol because her heart rate wouldn’t come down much below 200. They have run several tests and took more blood this morning. Her X-Ray last night shows some haze and the doctor is concerned that she may have pneumonia.

Despite this uncomfortable chair that I attempted to sleep in, I’m glad we are here. I am thankful for the very kind nurses (whom I prayed for on the way up) that have been taking care of my daughter. I am thankful for our amazing doctor who came in last night to look things over and talk with me about it all. She might be my daughter, but God is using many hands right now. And all there is to do is trust Him.