This view has left me with some extra time to ponder…
This is terrible. Regardless of how much energy I have or how fun a trip to the skating rink sounds, or how badly the kids need to get out to the park… my teeny tiny toe is holding me back. Even on a good day I can barley walk by evening… it’s effecting the rest of my life…
I’ve been struggling with anger toward a particular situation we are wrestling through. As time passed and my frustration grew I began to outwardly respond in anger toward the circumstance. And just as my toe has affected the rest of my life… so to has this sin been affecting my heart and reactions and responses in other things.
One small mistype in the code and it renders an error no matter how many lines of good data there is. One disconnected link and the chain is broken.
If I want my foot to heal, I have to be intentional. I have to take the time to care for and wrap my injury every day. I have to be mindful that it’s there, taking precautions not to re-injure it or allow it to be clobbered by the well-intended stomping of little feet. And little by little I will see healing. I’ll be able to walk again. I’ll be able to run again. I’ll be able to skate again.
If I want my heart to heal, I have to be intentional. I have to take care to acknowledge my struggle every day and to speak truth into it. I have to avoid temptation and avoid the misguidance of others; taking care to be mindful of what my eyes see and my ears hear (knowing that it affects what comes out). I have to acknowledge that there is only one Healer and call on his name and his power and ask him for peace and patience, goodness, gentleness, love, joy, kindness and self-control.
Every once in a while I stub my toe (or someone runs into it). It hurts for a moment, but after a deep breath (or several), I get up and keep going. I know that one one day the hurt will heal and pain will be gone and bumping it into something will no longer phase me.
Even though I continue to find myself doing the things I do not want to do, I know that one day my struggle will be no more. I know that there is grace in the very moment that I mess up and that while I may stumble there is a prize that I will fix my eyes on and move toward with perseverance.