Where do I even begin? We’ve been back in the states for the last six months. We’re moving to Nepal at the end of June. Over the weekend I got to spend some time alone in this adorable guest room. I played music that I enjoy. I lingered in an uninterrupted shower. I prayed out loud. I felt zero guilt about how late I stayed up or what time I rolled out of bed. I drank a gluten free beer and ate Bugles for dinner. And I spent time writing; without having to multi-task or stop to change a diaper.
Though this blog has been collecting dust, I haven’t stopped writing. I’ve written a book actually. Or finished the one that I started years ago; to be more precise. Finally.
It’s a venerable collection of stories, that unfold a narrative laden with treasures and radiance, that triumph brokenness and shame. I’m looking forward to sharing it. Anyway, there’s that.
We’re doing well. We got ourselves re-adjusted to life here just in time to start packing up again. Stephen is taking a job in his field as a data architect with a company in Kathmandu. I’m excited; and not. I suppose that’s normal. I suppose the not is because I’m no longer naive to this whole moving across the globe thing. It’s not easy, and the shiny luster of the adventurous unknown has washed away. I know the difficulty of such a gigantic transition. I know the energy it takes to learn a new language. I know the ways that ten individuals will struggle to adjust to a new culture.
This morning I asked Brynn if there was anything bothering her heart, and she began to cry and tell me that she didn’t want to move and leave her friends. I let her know that it’s ok to feel that way. That I’m feeling the same way. That her feelings are normal…
And then we got to talk about some of the things she has to look forward to; the weather and camping and hiking, and the three families of expats; and their 13 kids ten and under who are all looking forward to us coming. And she perked up. And I perked up; because I needed to remember that my feelings are valid too. And yes, I’ve got to address and prepare for the hard things, but I can choose to remember the things I have to look forward to as well. I know that the fruit of the work to get there, and to learn another language and culture, will be that I’ll get to sit with women again; teaching, loving, and supporting. And, of all the things, Im looking forward to that the most.